


50 Ways To Say You Died

by MelodramaticMrTails



Series: Rooster Teeth Republic [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Ableism, Dog Attacks, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Marijuana, Panic Attacks, Presentation Play, Serious Injuries, Sexual Content, Slurs, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:51:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2585375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticMrTails/pseuds/MelodramaticMrTails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one shots from 'Seven Nationed Army'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ray's First Injury

"You fucking whore!"

Ray has no reason to think this statement is directed at him. Without even stopping to check, he simply goes about his business moving small crates from one place to another. Honestly, he's not even entirely sure why. They're like three feet apart.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

It's only when the people around him stop and start looking at him that Ray realises it's him being spoken to. He puts his crate down, curiously turning to face the angry man: the boss of this little drug mill but certainly not the boss of Ray.

"Me?" Ray inquires and points to himself. It's obviously him because the man grabs his shirt angrily and nearly hoists him off the ground. So this is going well. Ray knows Ryan isn't far off but he also knows Ryan isn't going to do anything unless he thinks Ray is in substantial danger. Not that Ray is worried or afraid.

"Did you fuck my girlfriend?" he shouts. Ray had absolutely done that.

"What? No, man. I wouldn't do something like that," Ray promises, trying to placate the man with mute hand gestures.

"Then what is this?" he snaps and quickly shows Ray the screen of his phone. Welp. That's definitely Ray. That's definitely Ray with his face between the boss' girlfriend's legs. This is pretty much exactly how this situation is supposed to play out just not so soon. He still needs a bank number.

"Uh," Ray says slowly. "That's me giving face to a lady totally not your girlfriend?"

"Are you fucking sure about that?" he confirms sourly. This isn't a convincing lie at all and not just because there aren't a lot of ladies with white lace tattoos on their upper thighs. That sort of gave it away.

"I swear!" Ray begs. "I didn't know she was your girl! If I'd known, I never would have!" It's a pretty fool proof plan. Ray was going to seduce all the information Ryan needed out of this guy's girlfriend then piss him off enough to make him attack her. She'd kill him and spend the rest of her days in prison while their client lived happily off the ill gotten fortune. It's going to pay a pretty penny, too which Ray is really only excited for because it'll put him over the first milestone for how much money he's earned.

That meant another achievement.

"I'll fucking kill you!" he shouts. Ray supposes it should be pretty easy to get the account number another way but he's kind of annoyed that their plan has been set off so soon. Where'd he even get that picture?

Fortunately for Ray, this guy has bigger priorities than actually trying to murder him right now. Instead, he chucks Ray hard against a stack of crates with a powerful throw. A sharp pain blinds Ray for a short second and he barely manages not to shout. Holy shit, was that his fucking leg?

"No," the boss growls. "I'm going to kill her _then_ I'm going to come back and beat you to death nice and slow." Ray wishes him luck with that. It's always been clear who really ran this drug mill and it had never been him. He's going to get his ass handed to him without a doubt. Angrily, the guy storms out and a few seconds later the loud engine of his car fires.

Ray shifts slowly, testing to see where the pain has come from. He's not unfamiliar with the sensation, but it's been a while since he's actually been hurt like this. In fact, he doesn't think he's injured himself this bad since he's started working for Roosterteeth. Well, he busted his nose with the kickback of a shotgun but he doesn't think that counts.

A few of the people around him gather and murmur among themselves with no sign of trying to help Ray up. Ray spots Ryan towards the back of the crowd but he keeps his distance for now. Unfortunately, it looks like it really is his leg. When Ray tries to stand, the pain jolts up his left leg and causes him to crumple back down with a pained gasp.

How did that even happen? Ray is pretty quick to recall banging his leg during his parkour practice. He hadn't thought he'd injured himself that bad, but now he wonders if he had actually cracked his leg and if landing against a crate would be enough to snap it. This isn't part of the plan.

Ray sits back down again, rolling his pant leg up to examine the tender spot. It's not as bad as it could be but hell if it doesn't hurt. Tentatively, he touches the bump and immediately shudders when he feels the jagged bone through his skin. Oh gross. It's throbbing and everything. Still, it's only a closed, complete fracture of his fibula and could be worse.

Obviously he's not going to be going anywhere for a while. Still, he thinks he can play this to his advantage. Ray pulls out his mobile to shoot their target a warning message about her incoming boyfriend. She'll demand Ray's help in hiding the body which he'll do, but poorly. Right now, though, he needs to do something about his leg.

"Your leg don't look so good, man," one of the drug peddlers murmurs to him helpfully as Ray puts his phone away.

"No shit. Help me up, would you?" Ray insists. The guy backs off quickly, though. They're not going to help him because they think if they do, the boss will come back and beat them too. That's fucking great. Ray waves him off harshly, instead aiming to deal with the problem himself.

Using the crates to get back to his feet without putting pressure on the break, Ray balances on his good leg. Even without weighing it down, it hurts like a motherfucker. He has to hop slowly to another part of the room and everyone moves out of his way, including Ryan. They're not supposed to know each other. Ryan's just acting like part of the herd. Ray would be pretty upset if he didn't.

He finds some stuff to splint his leg with temporarily and quickly sits himself back down. There's no way he can immobilize it properly like this, but all he needs right now is to be able to walk. Gus can be mad at him later. Ray braces himself for the pain he has to inflict on his own leg, jerking the separated bones back into place with a hard twist.

" _Fuck_!" Okay, so that hurt so much more than he expected. Ray tries to blink the tears out of his eyes and shudders the pain away. He knows better than to show a lot of weakness. Bearing through agonising pain is something he's done all his life. Still, he can't recall ever having to splint his own broken bones.

Making sure the bones are aligned at least somewhat, Ray uses a roll of bandages and a pair of sticks from off of a crate to keep his bone from shifting out of place. Even then, putting pressure on it is nigh impossible. The rest of this job suddenly got a lot more tedious.

\- x -

"I don't know if that feels great or horrible but don't stop," Ray insists with a small, pleased groan. Ryan chuckles a little, gently massaging Ray's broken leg in both hands. The pain is gone now that he's applied some anaesthetic to the area, but Ryan's fingers working the area around it gives him a weird sensation.

"Many people find that pain can be very pleasurable in the right dosage," Ryan assures in amusement. He doesn't seem bothered by doing this for Ray, just ever so relaxed as he sits on the floor at the end of bed with Ray's leg over his shoulder. Until Ray can get to an RT doctor and properly fix it, he can't let the fracture heal. If it heals incorrectly, it'll just have to be broken again. Ray does not want that if he can help it.

"That's so fucking weird," Ray grumbles back. Ryan shrugs nonchalantly. "I'm pretty sure it's just this fucking topical pain relief that's made with pixie dust or something. My nerves are all fried."

"That could also be it," Ryan agrees aimlessly. Most of his attention is directed at the news, anyways. Ray doesn't really care for it. They'll find out that the police found the body from their target before they find out from the news. She'll be calling from police custody to curse Ray out for not hiding it well enough. When she tries to blame the murder on Ray, they won't believe her. After all, Ray doesn't exist.

"You stood that pretty well," Ryan comments off handedly. "I figured you would become completely useless when I heard the snap." Ray scoffs at him sourly. A broken leg wasn't about to take him down for the count.

"I'm tougher than I look," Ray assures him. Ryan laughs a little. Just because Ryan is the experienced agent doesn't mean Ray is worthless. He just needs more time to build up his tolerance for pain. It's already pretty high but Ray's sure this is an injury Ryan could walk on without flinching.

"I know. You snapped your leg back together like a champ," Ryan says.

"Don't patronise me," Ray grumbles. Ryan's face falls a little, taking up an unapproachable resting face.

"That wasn't my intention," he murmurs passively. Ray kicks him a bit with his good leg and Ryan cuts him a look over his shoulder.

"It was a joke, dude," Ray clarifies. "Lighten up."

"I'm not sure how that was a joke," Ryan says with a quirk of a brow. "But it is your leg that's broken, so whatever suits you I guess."

"You're such a fucking weirdo, Ryan, I swear," Ray promises. Ryan shrugs and nods a little in agreement and Ray laughs.

"I am massaging your broken bone, so I think that's fair," he agrees. He grins at Ray a bit, doing as suggested and 'lightening up'. Ray lies his head back on the bed and Ryan turns his attention back to the television. He has to say, this isn't a bad partnership. They work well together.

Ray sighs.

"Something wrong?" Ryan inquires quietly.

"She had some really good pussy, man. Like for real."

"Huh. So it's time to stop talking to me, now." 


	2. Ryan and Ray's First Fight

"Why are you mad at me?" Ryan insists after they've spent nearly the entire flight in silence. Ray has even given up playing his game by now due to his broken wrist. Broken may not be the right word for it, more like pulled completely out of its joint. He'd gotten his hand tangled in his parachute; an easy error to make.

In lieu of a verbal response, Ray gives him a cold look. Ryan isn't one hundred percent sure why Ray is upset but it's pretty clear Ryan's done something to agitate him. This may very well be the first time Ray has been legitimately angry with him and Ryan can't fathom why it has happened now. He's done plenty of things to piss Ray off previously that the lad had simply shaken off.

"So what? You're just going to be in a pissy mood now?" Ryan questions with an aggressive shrug of the shoulders. He really doesn't feel like being intimidated by Ray's negative mood right now. He hasn't done anything wrong. The mission was a success, there were minimum injuries, and it's been a smooth ride home aside from Ray's ice cold shoulder.

"Dude," Ray says irritably. "Don't fucking talk to me like that." It's a direct warning Ryan isn't accustom to hearing directed at him, Ray normally being passive and suggestive with his demands. This is not that. This is a tone alerting Ryan that lines are very quickly getting crossed and he needs to uncross them fast.

"Alright, alright," Ryan murmurs gently. "Calm down." Ray gives him a dirty look but he turns away from Ryan without another word. How very unlike Ray. Ryan supposes it's not _entirely_ unlike him, actually, just unlike him to direct it at Ryan.

"I seriously don't know what your problem is," Ryan assures him rather coldly. If Ray wants to be upset with him for no reason then Ryan can play that game. Of course, it'll save them both a lot of energy if Ray just comes out and said what is bothering him. Whether or not Ryan is going to agree with him is largely irrelevant.

"Ryan," Ray says blandly, turning to him again abrasively. "I know we've decided that we're like a thing now. Like dating or _whatever_. But you need to fucking control yourself."

"Control myself?" Ryan scoffs back. This is ridiculous!

"Your little jealousy shtick? Cost us two fucking bonus objectives," Ray assures him plainly. _Oh_. This makes a lot more sense. Ray's upset about their score. Admittedly, maybe Ryan had screwed the pooch on that one a little. He hadn't, and still doesn't, think of it as that big of a deal though.

"She was an asshole," Ryan argues. "I think my 'jealousy', as you call it, was perfectly warranted." He's still adjusting to this whole dating thing again. It's been a while, okay? Of course Ryan is going to be a little agitated about other people treating Ray so poorly. Ryan gets equally upset when people try to tamper with his food or living quarters. What's the issue?

"You took her head off, Ryan," Ray reminds him. Yeah. That kind of negated the whole 'no violent death' bonus. It wasn't like he planned it to happen that way. Ryan just severely underestimated how easy it was to decapitate a person with a window pane.

"She drugged you _twice_ and tried to keep you tied up in her kitchen," Ryan debates again. Why is it always the psychopaths they end up dealing with? Why can't Ray just seduce a nice, friendly person for once? This is the third one this month.

"You need to get a fucking grip," Ray tells him sourly. The fact that he's so angry over this spurs some of Ryan's anger.

"What's your fucking problem? You should be glad I'm getting so upset over you," Ryan insists.

"I'm not going to be glad you skimmed us a bunch of points, Ryan," Ray snaps.

"Oh, I see where your priorities really lie," Ryan replies scathingly. Ray stares him down without waver.

"Don't do that," he says. "Look, if you can't control yourself then obviously this isn't working." Well that seems over dramatic. It was a small error that didn't even affect the outcome of their mission. If Ryan had caused them to fail or something, he'd understand, but bonus objectives were just that; bonuses.

"Are you suggesting we break up?" Ryan inquires bitterly and he crosses his arms over his chest as a defensive maneuver. He'll be honest, he doesn't want that. The very thought causes him a bit of distress even though he knows they'd still be partners. He knows Ray's love now, he doesn't want to go back.

"I'm suggesting that should have been an easy job to ace and you fucked it up because of something that didn't even concern you," Ray explains plainly. He makes his point perfectly clear, though, if Ryan can't control himself they won't be together much longer.

"Your well being always concerns me," Ryan assures him a little more calmly.

"No," Ray replies sharply. Ryan's submissive stance doesn't ease his anger even remotely. "It doesn't, Ryan. We're not a single unit. This only works if I do my job and you do yours." It's not that he's wrong or that Ryan thinks he's wrong, it's just a little hard for Ryan to get used to. He wants to treat Ray like he's precious and that clearly isn't going to fly.

"You know that I am only worried about you," Ryan mumbles.

"Why?" Ray snaps back defensively. "Do you think I suddenly can't pull my own weight?"

"No," Ryan says quickly. "That's not what I meant."

"What the hell did you mean, then?" Ray insists. Ryan's not sure what he meant. He knows Ray is capable of taking care of himself and he knows that there's no reason to worry. He also knows that he really never needs to be jealous. It's always him Ray returns to and it's only him that Ray trusts.

Ryan trusts him, too, only him. He supposes he should act like it.

"Alright," Ryan says quietly. "I get it. I'm sorry. Even if it's completely inane and unnecessary, I understand why you're upset." Ray is angry over a lot more than just some points. With a mild huff, Ray turns away from him again. It seems like he's more at ease now, though, which is good.

"And I would hope that you understand that at no point did I intend to insult you. I just didn't like having to watch something of mine getting hurt again and again," Ryan tells him calmly.

"Yeah, well here's a bit of info that should help with that; I don't belong to you," Ray bites coldly.

"Figuratively," Ryan promises.

"Not even figuratively," Ray answers. "You need to get it through your thick skull that we're still two separate people."

"I think you and I have very different ideas as to what it means to be together romantically," Ryan comments off handedly. He knows they're still individuals, of course, but they were still a pair. Just as Ray is _his_ partner, now he's _his_ boyfriend.

"Well, we better figure it out fast," Ray murmurs. "If you fuck up another easy job, I think I'm literally going to choke you."

"Does this mean you're still mad, then?" Ryan inquires. Ray's cold demeanour seems to have worn away but the way he looks back at Ryan isn't exactly welcoming.

"No," he sighs. "You fucking asshole. I know you didn't mean it." It's a small compromise but it's important. Ray is new at this, after all. This is something they're learning together and it's good for them. It'll stabilize their relationship. Ryan smiles a bit, reaching over to pet Ray's thigh affectionately. Ray glances down at the hand and sighs faintly as he turns away again.

"Just don't make me have to break up with you, okay?" Ray murmurs. "Then it'll be awkward and shit and you'll be sad without me." This urges a laugh from Ryan. He leans over and Ray turns to him just slightly to exchange a little, delicate kiss.

"I love you, too, Ray."

Ray smiles. 


	3. Ray's First Panic Attack

“And I mean, it’s gross isn’t it? No one’s going to love you with scars like that.”

Ray isn’t listening. He’s learned that he really doesn’t have to. Plus, she just goes on and on and on and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care even a little bit. After a few conversations, it became clear that she talks in circles anyways and her points become pointless and redundant. Furthermore, she cares even less about his input. He’s really just there to be a pretty face and he knows it. She treats him like he’s an idiot and frequently assures him he has no use. It’s nothing that bothers Ray, of course, as he is only here to distract her while Ryan steals everything from under her and her brother’s nose. Her brother, fortunately, is dumb enough to not need someone to distract him.

Honestly, there’s a few seconds where Ray is completely unaware of what’s happening. It’s such an odd sensation that he doesn’t immediately associate it with pain. Only when he realises it’s become hard to breathe does he actually stop. He has to put his knife down, laying it on the cutting board carefully and grasping the edge of the counter for some sort of support. The sharp, kneading feeling in his chest becomes intense quickly and he gasps for air that he can’t seem to suck down.

“Ray? Are you okay, sweetie?”

He’s having a heart attack. The world around him seems so far away and when Katrina touches him, it startles him a little. Ray’s first instinct is, of course, to shove her away from him but he quells this in order to do the exact opposite. She could very well be his only form of help right now. When he starts towards the couch, Katrina helps him along carefully. He doesn’t want to sit, though, he needs to remain on his feet.

“God, you’re shaking like a leaf,” she murmurs quietly and touches his face gently. It’s an unappreciated gesture. He’s going to die. Ray quickly dismisses this thought, though, and assures himself he isn’t having a heart attack. He’s been poisoned, then? Immediately, thinks back on who he’s been around and what he’s consumed. Nothing and no one suspicious. There’s no way someone could have poisoned him without his knowledge; not with anything that would produce such sudden and violent symptoms. He hasn’t even ingested anything in over four hours, too long for something to have taken effect.

“You should sit down,” Katrina insists and she tries to usher him onto the couch but Ray pushes her away a little.

“No,” he gasps out shortly. “No. Bedroom. I need- bedroom.” That’s where his stuff is and is the most easily defendable position in the house. Katrina nods faintly, more than happy to help him across the little apartment and into the bedroom they share. As soon as its in reach, Ray sits himself on the edge of the bed and grasps his chest in his hand. Though apply pressure to the area relieves a minute amount of discomfort, it’s not a solution. He needs help.

“What’s wrong with you, Ray?” Katrina questions a little harsher than Ray can really approve of. It’s not like he wants this to happen. In fact, if this could not happen here, or at all, that would be even better. He can only manage to shake his head minutely though, gripping his mouth with one hand and reaching for his mobile with the other.

“I gotta- I gotta call someone,” Ray tells her with what breath he has.

“I’ll call 911,” Katrina assures him quickly.

“No,” Ray gasps back plainly as he tries to focus on his phone screen. Everything seems so far away right now and it’s making everything a lot more difficult than it should. “I- my personal doctor.”

“Right right,” she agrees hurriedly as she sits beside him far closer than appreciated. He feels like he’s going to suffocate; he doesn’t need her so close to him right now. What he needs more than anything right now is space. With some focus, Ray manages to dial the correct number on his phone and puts it on speaker so he can dedicate both hands to pressing down on his chest.

“Hello?”

“Blaine,” Ray says shortly. “It’s Ray. Something’s wrong.”

“Ray?” Blaine echoes back worriedly. “You don’t sound so good, buddy. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” is the only answer he can give. Unfortunately, in his disoriented state, Ray can’t make heads or tails of his symptoms. The idea that he has no idea what’s happening to him only seems to make his chest hurt that much worse and bile forms in the back of his throat. “I think I might have been poisoned.”

“Poisoned!” Katrina yelps in horror. Ray shoots her a mild glare, the volume of her voice ricocheting off the inside of his head like buzzing wasps. That’s not helping, either. “What do you mean poisoned‽ Who would poison you‽”

“Will you stop?” Ray questions sharply.

“Alright, Ray, just keep calm,” Blaine says gently. That’s pretty fucking difficult at the moment. Ray still thinks he’s managing to stay pretty calm considering the situation and considering his heart somehow thinks it’s appropriate to beat a thousand times a minute despite no obvious distress. “Are you with your partner?”

“Yes,” Katrina answers immediately. “I’m here.”

“Okay,” Blaine replies slowly. He, fortunately, understands that this is a clear sign of Ryan not being around. “What’s happening, Ray? As few words as possible if you can handle that.”

“Hyperventilation. Intense chest pain. I’m shaking like a fucking crackhead-” Ray explains to the best of his ability and he looks at his hands just to assure they’re still there. “Some nausea.”

“He’s sweating really bad, too,” Katrina adds in with concern.

“What were you just doing?” Blaine inquires. The weird part is, he hadn’t been doing anything, really. He was in an apartment that he has no reason to think is unsafe with his fake girlfriend who probably wouldn’t even bother poisoning him and there’s nothing around to trigger any sort of fight or flight response.

“Cooking?” Ray answers. “Talking?”

“We were just making dinner and talking about those grotesque scars on Ray’s back and he just started freaking out,” Katrina clarifies. Another sharp jolt rips through Ray’s chest and he gasps loudly for relief. Blaine is eerily quiet for a moment and Ray isn’t glad for it. That means he’s thinking and if he has to think about it, this is probably really bad.

“Ray,” Blaine says carefully. “I think you’re having a panic attack.” Ray forces out a bark of a laugh.

“A what? I’m not panicking,” Ray assures him bluntly. There is no response. “Dude. You’re fucking serious?”

“How could he be having a panic attack? Only attention hogging teenagers and crazy people get those,” Katrina insists. Ray looks to her plainly, momentarily unable to even think up a reply to something like that. ‘Normal’ people are absolutely horrifying, he swears.

“Why is that necessary?” Ray questions. “Why do you need to talk right now? Shut up.”

“Katrina?” Blaine gets her attention before they can end up in a fight. Ray, admittedly, isn’t thinking too well right now and she’d probably kick his ass. He’s so disoriented, he’d probably help kick his own ass.

“Yes. I’m here,” Katrina says eagerly.

“I need you to do me a favour and run to the store. You need a fresh first aid kit and Naproxen Sodium. The sooner the better,” Blaine tells her. It’s just an excuse for her to leave for a little while and Ray can’t be more thankful for it.

“Should I really be leaving Ray by himself? There could be something seriously wrong with him,” she questions unsurely.

“‘m fine,” Ray promises at once and it would probably be more convincing if he could breathe properly. “Just hurry back.” Or never come back. Same different. Katrina looks him over nervously before nodding and quickly getting to her feet. Ray listens to her leave and is relieved the second he hears the front door close. At least that’s one thorn in his side handled for the moment.

“Okay Ray, I need you to relax-” Blaine instructs. Once again, Ray thinks he’s pretty relaxed already.

“Blaine, I feel like I’m fucking having a heart attack. Are you seriously telling me this is all in my head?” Ray says shortly.

“Well no,” Blaine answers simply. “Panic attacks can be incredibly severe. Have you ever had one before?”

“ _Blaine_ ,” Ray rasps. Now really doesn’t seem to be like the time to discuss this.

“Oh right. Sorry. Okay, do as I tell you; breathe in, count down from five. Five, four,” Blaine rattles off for him and Ray follows without hesitation. It’s now that it occurs to him that he hadn’t been breathing in very much and that definitely hadn’t helped his hyperventilation. “Hold your breath, count from six. And out, count down from seven. Seven, six, five-” Already, the deep breathes relieve some of Ray’s pain. It seems absolutely ridiculous honestly, that something so awful feeling is so easily remedied by breathing. Not that he’s complaining, of course.

“I got it,” Ray assures him quietly once he’s focused enough to count for himself. The dread and his still rapidly beating heart persists even after the immediate pain is gone but these are things Ray can bull through.

“Let me know when you’re alright,” Blaine informs carefully. Ray does take a little more time than strictly necessary just to make sure his nausea has passed before straightening his back up and re orientating himself. Even this proves to be too quick and he nearly passes out right there. This is not something that can start happening regularly.

“Okay. I think I’m alright,” Ray confirms when he no longer has to pant just to breathe.

“Do you want me to call your partner?” Blaine inquires.

“No. I’m fine,” he promises. There’s no need to pull Ryan away from his work because Ray got a little worked up for no goddamn reason.

“If you’re sure,” Blaine murmurs. “I’m gonna prescribe you some Benzodiazepines until you get back home and we can discuss what you want to do. They’re very addictive so you don’t want to take a lot of them and only take them if you really need them. I’ll have Katrina pick them up for you.”

“Why am I having a panic attack, Blaine?” Ray gets straight to the point. It had come out of absolute no where and had he been anywhere else, that could have been a lot worse than it was. He could have been in the middle of something potentially dangerous.

“Hard to say,” Blaine answers. “Have you ever had one before?” Ray wants to say no right off the bat but when he takes a moment to consider it, he remembers that’s not quite true. He hadn’t known it was a panic attack at the time, but as he thinks about it, Ray is certain that he had one in middle school. That was years ago, though, and it definitely hadn’t felt like a heart attack.

“Maybe,” Ray admits. “Does it even matter?”

“People who’ve had them before are more likely to have them again,” Blaine assures.

“Well no shit,” Ray scoffs.

“Hey. I’m doing my job, you do your job, okay?” Blaine replies with a returning scoff. “Do you know what had happened right before your last attack?”

“Not really,” Ray murmurs simply. “I try to forget literally everything about middle school. And high school. And now actually.”

“Fair enough,” Blaine agrees. “Well, what were you and, uh, Katrina talking about?”

“I don’t know,” Ray sighs. “She was complaining about something. I wasn’t paying attention, man.”

“She was complaining about your scars?” Blaine offers curiously.

“Maybe?” Ray agrees blindly. “What does it matter?”

“I think Katrina triggered your panic attack, Ray,” Blaine explains. That seems so unnaturally unlikely.

“Katrina?” Ray repeats. “You think I had a panic attack because Katrina, a woman I haven’t even known for a month, didn’t like some barely visible, still healing scars?”

“Not exactly, but yeah,” Blaine says simply. “You guys are really fucking bad about recognising your emotions especially as they’re happening to you. Just because you don’t feel tense or panicked, doesn’t mean your body doesn’t.”

“The fuck does that even mean?” Ray groans. “How can I feel something without _feeling_ it?”

“Well,” Blaine starts and Ray already knows he’s made a mistake asking. “Since you, like most Republicas, don’t really see yourself as another person it’s not unusual for you to be unaware of how to experience certain feelings, if you experience them at all.”

“Stop,” Ray deadpans immediately. “Stop talking. I already regret asking. Just- is this going to happen again?”

“Honestly? Probably. When you feel it starting to happen, just remember to breathe. Take one, maybe only a half, of the pills she’s bringing and it should go away pretty quickly. Ryan-” Blaine tries but Ray cuts him off instantly.

“Don’t tell Ryan about this,” Ray instructs. “Like at all, Blaine.”

“Course. I wouldn’t suggest that but whatever. I’ll make sure there’s room to see you when you return,” Blaine promises. Ray isn’t going to do that. This is ridiculous really and he’s not going to be letting this happen again. If he can control his emotions to the tee, he’s pretty sure he can stop himself from having another panic attack.

“No. I’ll- I’ll deal with that later, Blaine. I’ll let you know,” Ray says and he’s pretty sure Blaine knows that’s a lie. It doesn’t actually matter, though.

“I wouldn’t suggest that,” Blaine repeats. “You need to deal with this immediately.”

“Nah,” Ray answers bluntly. He feels like he can finally breathe again and the looming, irrational worry of suddenly dying has gone. It’s fine. He’s fine. Everything’s fine. Everything’s fine forever. “I’ll take the benzasodium something fucking whatever things. If this happens again.”

“Ray, those aren’t a permanent solution. Especially with your medical records I can’t-”

“I gotta go Blaine,” Ray cuts him off quickly. “Thanks. Good bye.”

“Ray wait-”

Nah. 


	4. First Time Ray Gets Attacked by a Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning; animal death [sorry angry attack dogs], mauling

It was supposed to be a simple mission; parachute in, grab the package, boat out. After landing, it had become very clear that the package was not waiting for them and their 'inside man' had moved it. More importantly, it's shockingly clear how much pirate activity there is on this island and how well they're armed. This is why Ryan is currently standing aside while Ray argues with the 'captain' in another language. 

Though they were fluent in many languages together, they were also fluent in many languages apart. This is generally frowned upon in Republica because if Ryan and Ray ever split up, they'd have difficulty finding a person that knows a compatible set of languages, but Ryan really doesn't expect them to ever split up. They worked too well together for that to have a reasonable probability of happening. 

Ryan knows Ray isn't the best when it comes to people but he does trust that under all this yelling, he is handling everything to the best of his ability. The captain, Seto, doesn't sound like he's being shockingly reasonable and the fact that he had moved the package in the first place is proof of that. He wasn't supposed to be anywhere near it after dropping it off and Ryan dearly hopes he realises he isn't getting his full payment. 

Honestly, though, Ryan is more concerned about the movement in the trees and brush. It's far enough away that he's having trouble telling if they're animals or people. He's not sure which he'd prefer. When Seto heads for his boat, still angrily shouting at Ray, Ryan is understandably concerned. Ray follows him a few steps but Seto simply locks himself in the shoddy cabin on his even shoddier boat. 

"Ray?" Ryan inquires curiously. 

"He says we need to fix his boat," Ray informs bluntly. "He says we need to fix his boat and then meet us somewhere else to help him do something else even though that's not what we're being paid for!" He shouts at the boat in what Ryan guesses is mostly curse words. When he calms himself down a little, though, he looks back in the same direction Ryan's been watching rustle. 

"And those are not wild animals," Ray explains irritably. "This place is infested with super aggressive pirates. Glad they left that bit out of the mission details."

"So I need to fix this- thing is what you're saying," Ryan inquires, gesturing to the floating pile of scrap metal. 

"Fuck no," Ray scoffs. "Rip him out of there and do your freaky torture thing." 

"This is a very big island, Ray," Ryan argues. "I sincerely doubt he's going to tell me anything by force and I don't know about you but I don't want to be searching this island for the rest of my life." As much as Ryan is for the fun way, he's also for the 'get the job done sometime this month' way. Ray grumbles a bit under his breath but he simply shrugs like he doesn't actually care what they decide to do. It's clear that he's annoyed this isn't going as planned but hopefully they'll still get something good out of it. 

"Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast," Ray insists. "We have company." Sure enough, the rustling foliage is getting closer, faster and Ryan has no doubt they're going to be swarmed at any minute. He grabs a couple tools he needs from one of the near by, abandoned huts and quickly jumps aboard the ready to sink boat to start repairing. 

Ray starts setting up defenses. The worse thing about this situation is that they certainly did not come ready to defend against an entire military of pirates. They're going to run out of ammo fast and Ryan doubts these guys are going to be very kind. He works as quick as he can on welding together lose pieces of sheet metal before taking a look at the engine. Wow, this might take a while. 

Ryan can hear the gunfire so painfully close to him where Ray has buckled down. If it's up to Ray, Ryan will have all the time he needs- even if Ray runs out of ammunition. When he has a moment to spare, Ryan glances over to assure Ray doesn't need any help. He doesn't, of course, conserving his ammo by using his butterfly knife and luring people into his easily defensible corner. As long as Ray is making a racket, they won't bother Ryan. 

To some degree, Ryan thinks he should have been paying more attention to his partner. Ray is capable of taking care of himself, sure, but that doesn't mean Ryan needs to let him. Especially when Ryan is aware there are things Ray can't handle. Swimming, for example, and apparently, dogs. 

"Oh man, watch me take down this dog," is all Ryan hears over the sound of his blowtorch. Ryan knows by now that Ray's 'watch' comments are rarely directed to anyone other than himself and therefore, Ryan continues on his task. "Look, I'm Michael Vic."

It's only when Ray starts shouting immediately afterward that Ryan takes any notice. He doesn't think much of it right away, Ryan also knows Ray will shout when he thinks he's in trouble only to solve his own issue before Ryan can help, but a quick peek assures that Ray hasn't dealt with the dog at all. 

"Oh shit! He got me! Get it off! Get it off!" Ray seems startling smaller under the angry attack dog. Ryan drops everything to help him. Quickly getting the mutt's attention, Ryan leads it away from Ray so he can put it down with a single shot. Jesus, it looks like Ray had done quite a number on the thing and it hadn't relented at all. Now they knew they needed to be on the look out for dogs at least. 

"Shit, Ray," Ryan says worriedly as he comes to crouch down beside his partner. Ray holds his face in both hands protectively and weirdly enough, he's shaking like a leaf. Ryan has to carefully pull Ray's hands down to assess the damage. "Christ."

The dog certainly did a number on him, too. Ray's face bleeds excessively, staining his hands and pooling down his neck in fast flows, so Ryan can't see how bad the injuries really are yet. He untucks a clean handkerchief from one of his pockets to try and stop the gouges from bleeding. Ray grabs it from him urgently to hide his face in. This is really bad. Ryan tries to pull the cloth away to see if the bite marks are actually life threatening, but Ray won't let him. 

"It's fine," Ray muffles out even though it's clearly not fine. The handkerchief is already soaked through. They need to stop the bleeding now. Ryan grabs Ray's wrist firmly to try and uncover his face but Ray isn't having it. He kicks Ryan's arm away fiercely and hurriedly scoots away from him. 

"Ray. You're going to pass out if you don't let me help you," Ryan demands sharply. Ray shakes his head feverishly. 

"It's fine," he repeats. "Go back to fixing your damn boat or whatever. I got this." Ryan has no idea why Ray is being so unreasonable about this. He's never been so unwilling to let Ryan deal with his wounds before. 

"Just let me fucking help you," Ryan barks angrily. Ray shakes his head again. He won't uncover his face and the blood starting to drip down from the cloth is worrying. They don't have time for Ray to be throwing a fit. There's no way of telling how far off more pirates are and if Ray is light headed, or unconscious, they're going to have a problem. 

"Ray please," Ryan says a little gentler. He touches the back of one of Ray's hands softly to try and urge him to lower his hands. "I just want to help you. I'm not going to hurt you, ya know that, sweets." The lapse of his southern drawl is always enough to amuse Ray for some god forsaken reason and now it's enough to make him gingerly uncover his face. He looks at Ryan so nervously and honestly, frightened. Ryan has never seen him like this, it looks like he's about to cry. Of course, with the blood in his eyes, he probably should but that's beside the point. 

Ryan carefully touches his face, examining the injury a little better now that some of the blood is gone. Ray is forcing himself to breathe, counting uneven breathes in, holding them, and then counting them back out. He's really scared right now. Ryan isn't sure what to do about this. He's never seen Ray scared, either, and therefore doesn't know how to deal with it. Some of the bite marks are deeper than others, but fortunately, there's no significant damage. It's only the skin that's broken and none of them puncture completely through. Ray got lucky. 

"I think you'll live," Ryan assures softly as he gently pets the back of Ray's head. "Those are going to scar pretty badly, though." To this, Ray looks absolutely horrified and he chokes on a breath he doesn't manage to get down right. He's never been afraid of getting scars before, after all it's not like they're permanent. Then again, the last time Ryan saw Ray get hurt this bad, they weren't yet a couple. Surely Ray doesn't think Ryan cares if he has a few scars. Or a lot of scars. More than half his face is gouged open and Ryan doesn't see even the slightest fault in Ray's beauty. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Ryan says quickly, grasping Ray's head in both hands. God, Ray's heart is beating a thousand miles a minute. "Calm down. There's nothing wrong with your face."

"Bullshit," Ray chokes out. 

"You're okay," Ryan promises and he rubs a patch if Ray's uninjured cheek with his thumb. "You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever laid eyes on, okay? I love you, Ray, no matter what." He can feel Ray's heartbeat gradually decelerate and Ray sighs shakily as he leans his face into Ray's hands. Gently, he nods. Ryan kisses him affectionately, not at all bothered by the blood that stains his skin, and Ray softly meets him. 

"Fucking dogs, man," Ray grumbles lowly. "Fucking racist dogs. I'm telling you, they know which one the Hispanic is." Back to normal, then. Ryan searches his bag hurriedly to find the small treatment kit for bullet wounds. He figures it'll work about the same to both stop Ray's wounds from bleeding and numb his, uh, entire face. And both arms. And some of his neck. 

"That thing got you good," Ryan murmurs faintly. 

"Dogs are fucking terrifying, dude," Ray insists. "I've never met a dog in real life before and I never want to again."

"You've never seen a dog before?" Ryan inquires curiously as he patches Ray's face up. 

"Well I've seen 'em," Ray says quietly. "Just never, like, touched them and shit. Or been near one." How strange. Ryan feels like that's something that would be very difficult to happen to a normal person. Then again, he doesn't actually know anything about where Ray came from. 

"Man, I got blood in my contact," Ray sighs as he rubs his eye with the back of his hand. "Gotta fucking wear my glasses in a fucking forest full of pirates now. Fucking demon dog."

Later when they're fighting off an ambush, Ryan loses track of Ray only to find him on top of a shack surrounded by three dogs. It takes Ryan twenty minutes to coax him down after the dogs are gone. Ray vows that he's never going to see a fucking dog ever again for as long as he lives. Dogs are illegal now. All dogs must be sent to the moon immediately. 

Ryan assures him he can't do that. 

Ray disagrees.


	5. Ryan's First Presentation Play Around Geoff and Jack

Though there’s no sign that anyone’s broken into their apartment, the blonde woman in their kitchen tells a very different story. Geoff only really notices her because Jack swats him hard in the stomach to shut him up. Considering they’ve been talking loudly since the moment they entered the apartment, Geoff greatly doubts she doesn’t know they’re here. As it is, however, she doesn’t seem to care, simply standing in front of one of the counters with her back towards them. It looks like she’s trying to get into one of their tablet devices. Probably Gavin’s. He leaves that thing all over the fucking place. 

Carefully, Jack draws his gun and Geoff follows suit. She definitely doesn’t look dangerous but considering their line of work, that doesn’t mean she’s not. When they approach her, though, she glances over her shoulder slightly before returning to whatever she’s doing. Obviously she really doesn’t care that they’re here. Jack give Geoff an odd look, unsure of what to make of this. It’s so bizarre that they’re ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ technique doesn’t seem to be the appropriate response. 

“Uh,” Geoff says slowly. “What cha doing there, babe?” The woman looks back at him again with raise brow and unamused expression. As it is, she isn’t even remotely threatened by them or their guns. This is such a weird situation to be in. 

“Is there like a reason you broke into our apartment or?” Jack questions curiously. This causes her to turn towards them finally but now she looks perplexed of all things. She opens her mouth to speak only to close it again and look confused. There’s no way just some random woman off the street managed to break into their apartment. 

Finally she says, “Jack, Geoff, it’s me.” 

Whoa. Neither Geoff or Jack say anything right off the bat, too confused and honestly stunned to really have anything to say. Geoff isn’t even sure if this is hilarious or not. Ryan glances around the room mildly before looking back to them, very clearly waiting for someone to say something. Jack quickly remembers he has his gun drawn and immediately sheaths it before elbowing Geoff into doing the same. They hadn’t known it was Ryan! Geoff decides to break the silence. 

“Well my dick’s hard,” he states plainly. 

“First of all, no,” Ryan answers in the same tone. “Second of all, Ray wants my help with something.” 

“Which requires you to wear a dress?” Jack questions slowly. 

“Not requires per say,” Ryan murmurs and he adjusts the waist of said dress slightly. “He’s gathering information for our next task. He said he tried it himself, but his target is more attracted to, uh, ‘bigger’ ladies, I guess?” Geoff’s pretty sure what he means by that is ‘ladies that look like they can crush your head between their thighs’ because that’s what Ryan looks like. Ryan scratches the back of his neck distantly like he’s not sure what else to say. It’s funny because Geoff had looked him square in the face and couldn’t recognize him. Hell, even now Geoff has a hard time understanding that this is Ryan. 

“Okay, stop staring at me like that,” Ryan instructs after a length of silence clearly too long. “It’s a fucking dress. Get over it.” 

“No! No!” Jack assures quickly. “You’re very pretty. It’s just- holy shit, Ryan.” 

“You look so fucking different, man,” Geoff agrees. “You’re just- wow.” 

“Stop,” Ryan replies bluntly. “I promise you, the last reason I did this was to get your dicks hard. In fact, it didn’t even make the list.” 

“You’re just getting someone else’s dick hard,” Geoff points out. For a moment, Ryan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t look altogether pleased by this point and obviously isn’t happy to have to agree with it. 

“Pretty much,” he says blandly, clearly not about to back down, either. “I’m going to get his dick so hard.” 

“I don’t know if I like this,” Geoff replies matter-of-factly. 

“Sucks for you,” Ryan answers without a care. In all honesty, Geoff doesn’t care even remotely. He knows what Ryan does, and more often what Ray does, is stringless and mostly out of necessity. That being said, there’s no way he’s going to pass up a chance to make as much of this as possible. 

“So are you wearing panties under that, too?” Geoff inquires and reaches to lift the edge of Ryan’s dress a little. 

“Yes,” Ryan is clearly not going to play this game with him. “They’re very comfortable and soft on my massive schlong. Are you done?” 

“You suck the fun out of everything,” Geoff scoffs mildly as he does, in fact, find panties under Ryan’s dress. Yeah, that’s a dick. Not that he was honestly expecting to find anything else, really. Jack seems to be mostly speechless and shows no intent on joining Geoff’s efforts. When the front door opens, Geoff turns away from his examination of Ryan’s under dressings and Ryan huffs loudly as he straightens his dress out. 

“Yo Rye Bread, you ready?” Ray questions as he pads into the room in his short pencil skirt. This Geoff believes much more. It’s not unlike Ray to wander around in women’s clothes and generally this is accepted as normal among the crew by now. Though, still, it’s something new to see Ray in full make up. Again, though, not brand new. Geoff isn't as interested in teasing Ray about this. 

“Yeah. I’m ready,” Ryan confirms gladly, grabbing his tablet and his purse off the counter. “If Geoff’s done trying to suck my dick that is.” 

“Only if you keep the dress and panties on,” Geoff assures. Ryan tucks his clutch under his arm and pointedly stares Geoff down coldly. 

“I’m going to fuck your throat raw when I get back,” Ryan says simply. Geoff fondly welcomes his boner back. 

“Come on Ryan,” Ray urges. “Ze’s not going to wait all day.” 

“I’m coming,” Ryan promises, hurriedly strutting across the room in his pumps like he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

“Good luck?” Jack offers with a small wave. 

“So is it just me that’s super hard or?” Geoff murmurs. 

“Absolutely not,” Jack replies.


	6. Jack and Geoff's First Fight

If anything, it catches Jack off guard. The blow doesn’t pack enough power to knock him off his feet, but it startles him something fierce. Immediately, the worst things come to mind. Geoff found out. Geoff found out and he’s _not_ happy. Jack holds his face with both hands both to protect himself from any further hits and to cradle the now sore spot. When a second hit fails to land, Jack turns to Geoff slowly but suspiciously. Geoff gestures to him suggestively like he’s just trying to start a fight.

“Did you fucking hit me?” Jack asks in disbelief.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Geoff replies cockily.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jack snaps back. No, Geoff doesn’t know. However, that means Jack has no idea why he has suddenly decided to attack him. He doesn’t look drunk, or at least any drunker than usual, and he doesn’t look mad. Then again, such an unaggravated attack isn’t exactly the weirdest thing Jack has started to expect from Geoff. As a response, Geoff only shrugs nonchalantly. Oddly enough, that doesn’t make Jack feel better.

“What’s it fucking matter, hm?” Geoff questions shortly. “You’re not gonna fucking do anything about it.” As if to prove his point, he moves to deliver another punch. Jack grabs his arm roughly, stopping him in his tracks and only causing Geoff to strike out with his other hand. Like the first, this one also isn’t enough to really hurt him in any way. Even so, Jack stumbles back a few steps and curses under his breath, holding his cheek irritably.

“Knock it off, Geoff,” Jack barks angrily. He’d like to say this is unlike Geoff but from what Jack knows of the sociopath so far, it’s really not. He’ll get drunk and do whatever the hell he wants whenever the hell he wants to and there’s little stopping him. It’s this kind of entitled attitude that drive Jack up the wall but at the same time, frightens him way more than anything else about the man does.

“Fucking make me,” Geoff answers simply. He throws another wild fist, against hitting Jack square in the face. So Jack hits him back. Admittedly, he’s not a particularly skilled fighter when it comes down to it, but he’s big and he has some decent power behind him. It’s more of a warning punch than anything else, though, and Geoff blocks it with both forearms easily. Another fist connects with Jack’s chin and his anger wells up suddenly.

Oh, Jack will fucking make him.

His next swing holds nothing back, Jack bringing his arm way back and coming down on Geoff with full power. He connects with Geoff’s arms hardly and consequently, Geoff slides against the floor a little. Jack picks up his blocking technique quickly, stopping Geoff’s next punch from connecting with his face and advancing on his own. He throws a leg out to buckle Geoff’s leg at the knee and Geoff grabs onto his arm to keep himself upright. Jack grabs the back of his neck to yank him off and Geoff grapples with him until their legs are interlocked.

Unable to break apart, Jack loses his footing and they both go crashing to the ground in a fit of dirty fighting. There’s not a lot of room to throw any more punches and kicking has effective left the building within a few well made movements. Geoff pulls a handful of Jack’s beard and Jack angrily returns the treatment, yanking the shorter strands just as hard. It goes downhill from there, biting quickly becoming involved and hair pulling following suit. Neither of them really want to give in now, though, and they’re forced to roll around until they’ve exhausted themselves. Which turns out to be sooner than later with their combined physiques. Jack would argue Geoff is the first to forfeit though, finally shoving off and pushing himself across the floor out of reach. Jack is too tired to chase him.

The room fades into silence as Jack tries to catch his breath, now thoroughly annoyed and worn out. That had been completely unnecessary and come out of fucking no where. What was that even about? He knows Geoff is a crazy person but this is ridiculous! He’s sure there’s a bald patch in his beard now. Carefully, Jack touches his mouth and is annoyed to find blood on his fingers when he pulls away.

Geoff laughs.

“You’re such a fucking pussy, Jack,” he says as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. “Fucking trying to trip me.”

“Fuck you, Geoff,” Jack pants back with the least amount of energy he can manage. Right, but catching him off guard and punching him in the face was perfectly fine. Great logic there.

“You’re really out of shape, man, come on,” Geoff insists despite breathing just as hard as Jack. “Let’s go again.”

“Go again?” Jack repeats incredulously. “You’re fucking shitting me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Come on,” Geoff persuades again. "I wanna fight again. None of that bitch kicking, either.”

“You pulled my fucking beard hair, Geoff,” Jack snaps. It wasn’t like he was about to just let Geoff punch the hell out of him. If Geoff got into a good rhythm, he knows he wouldn’t have stood a chance. It was like some kind of drunken super power or something.

“Yeah, and you pulled mine!” Geoff reminds him.

“Only after you’d done it!” Jack answers.

“Oh shut up,” Geoff says shortly, getting to his feet and grabbing one of Jack’s arms to pull him up. “Get up. We’re gonna fight.” Jesus fucking Christ, this was for fun? He should have known. Jack only gets to his feet because he wouldn’t put it past Geoff to hit him while he’s down or, god, worse. This is such a scary position to be in, honestly. It wouldn’t surprise Jack if Geoff ended up killing him on accident- or getting him killed.

“You could have just asked me to fight you,” Jack tells him pointedly. He might not be the best at it, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know how to brawl. That would have been a hell of a lot less scary than Geoff just randomly hitting him in the fucking face like a fucking asshole.

“Oh right,” Geoff replies sarcastically. “You didn’t even want to shoot that mugger that came after you.” Well yeah! Jack didn’t want to kill him! Though honestly, letting Geoff shoot him instead probably assured his death more than Jack’s bad aim would have.

“Oh fuck you,” Jack replies shortly. “I’m actually decent with my hands, I’ll have you know.”

“What? Did you fight an old lady for the last bag of doritos once?” Geoff questions teasingly. Unsurprisingly, big bad Ramsey is kind of a bully.

“God I hate you.”

“Good. Let’s punch each other.”


	7. Ray and Michael's first Make Out

There were few times when Ray and Michael are left to their own devices. This is usually because Gavin typically is with them but today, this is not the case. Geoff and Jack were out doing whatever it is they do when alone while Ryan and Gavin are about scooping some targets out. All very mundane stuff. Which leaves Michael and Ray to hang around the apartment and play video games all night.

And get really high.

Ryan says that it had taken a while for Ray to be comfortable being high around him let alone getting high around him so Michael feels it sort of an accomplishment that Ray actually enjoys doing this with him. Whether or not Ray has been lying through his teeth at the time, Michael had proven himself trustworthy when he handled Ray's bad trip. It doesn't hurt that Michael participates, too, unlike Ryan.

Conversation isn't really something the two if them are good at and after half an hour of smoke and games, the apartment is quiet aside from some sound from the television and an occasional giggle from one of them. Ray isn't really a talkative person and thanks to their co-op game, Michael finds little to yell at. It's relaxing, really. At least, Michael enjoys it.

Silence lets his mind wander, though, and soon he finds himself watching Ray take another puff from their shared joint. If there's anything they're never short on, it's good drugs. Ray's attention never strays from the television for very long but all Michael can think about is how nice his lips look. Which is totally weird even if Ray is technically his boyfriend. Maybe? Everything is still kind of up in the air right now but Michael's pretty sure they have something. He's absolutely kissed Ray before and it had been so nice.

Which is about all the convincing Michael needs to forget about the game completely and start moving towards Ray. If Ray notices, he doesn't care, and Michael thinks it's impossible for Ray not to notice. He strategically places one of his knees between Ray's legs and Ray looks at him shortly but doesn't say anything. It's not like he'd stay quiet if he was unhappy, Michael knows that well.

When Michael lies his hands on Ray's waist though, Ray sort of tilts himself so he can see the screen around Michael. He has to move his arm to let Michael nuzzle his throat, but he only adjusts enough to hold his controller again. Ray really has a one track mind when it comes to video games. It's fucking ridiculous is what it is. Michael kisses his throat fondly causing Ray to tilt his head to expose more of his neck for the taking.

Typically, Ray doesn't care for being shown affection. He doesn't like hugs, he doesn't like being cuddled, and he doesn't like most kisses. However, it's not unusual for him to be in the mood for it, either. Now, obviously, is a good example. Even as Michael leans up to press his lips to Ray’s, Ray gladly greets him. At first, anyways. When he discovers he can’t see the television over Michael’s head, Ray slowly starts leaning towards the floor. Michael follows him.

“Ah, come on man,” Ray groans slightly between each affectionate, warm kiss. “I’m trying to game.” If he means this seriously, he doesn’t show it, still needily meeting Michael’s lips with every touch. Slowly, he continues to lean away until he hits the floor and from there he’s quick to forget about his game all together. It’s easy when it’s out of his sight. Ray clearly finds it more pleasing to drop his control and grip the back of Michael’s shirt than to try to continue whatever it is he can’t recall doing.

It’s not that Michael hasn’t kissed Ray before, it’s just that those kisses are usually just short and to the point. Good morning kisses and good bye kisses and I still like kissing you kisses. To kiss Ray like this is new and enthralling in the best of ways. Like liquor, Ray’s mouth is sweet and intoxicating. The thought makes Michael snort an uncontrollable laugh which in turn makes Ray laugh with him and then they’re giggling like school boys for no real reason.

Only when Michael has regained himself and Ray is lying with his head tilted back, showing off his pale throat, does Michael catch his lips again. Nothing about Ray’s kisses surprise him. He’s so yielding and malleable- until he wants something. Then there’s teeth in his lip and nails in his back and a growl in his throat. Michael grabs Ray’s face in his hands but even that does little to deter Ray from his stinging nips. It drives Michael absolutely up the wall in the most delicious of ways.

“Get away from me.”

The sound of the door opening is unfortunately enough to make Michael sit up and Ray lifts his head minutely to join him. Ryan pushes Gavin away from him rather harshly as they enter the apartment. He grips his side with one hand and the blood seeping through his clothing is incredibly obvious and a little concerning.

“I said I was sorry!” Gavin insists. “It was an accident!”

“Did Gavin accidentally shoot you?” Ray questions halfly, resting on his forearms as he supports both his weight and Michael’s leaned on his chest.

“Gavin accidentally shot me,” Ryan assures coldly. “Again.”

“What the hell is wrong with you, dude?” Michael questions with a punctual sigh.

“What do you bloody mean ‘again’! You got in the way last time!” Gavin argues. Ryan gives him an annoyed looked. It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect on Gavin, though, who is immediately distracted when he realises Michael is literally on top of Ray. “Ooh, are you kissing Ray? I wanna kiss Ray.”

“Hey, fuck off,” Michael snaps back quickly. “I’m kissing Ray.”

“I just want to play Black Ops,” Ray informs rather blandly. Michael looks down at him with a bit of disappointment and Ray shrugs. Reluctantly, he moves to give Ray his personal space back. Well, that was great while it lasted at least. As short as it was.

“That’s fine. I’ll just bleed out while you guys trip balls and make out. It’s all good, guys.” 


	8. Geoff's First Gift To Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the holidays really kicked my ass this week so no wbr im afraid. check back next week when i hopefully have my shit together.

Patience hasn't always been a strong suit of Geoff's especially when it comes to the crew and trying to explain things. Still, waiting for the signal with Ray is easy enough. Ray is more than content to not say anything at all and equally as content to make idle banter with Geoff as long as Geoff initiates it. This makes walking around the block multiple times easier to stand. He's itching to get to work, though. What's taking them so long?

Considering they haven't heard anything over the mics, Geoff can't assume there's anything wrong. Plus, he's pretty sure he would have already heard if something had gone wrong even without the mics considering the explosive element to this plan. Drawn into his own concerns, Geoff nearly leaves Ray behind. It's only when he turns to ask Ray an unnecessary question does he realize Ray isn't walking beside him anymore.

He hasn't gone far, fortunately, or really anywhere. Instead, Ray has come to a standstill in front of a jewelry store. He's looking at something they have on display with the kind of mute longing Geoff rarely sees on Ray's face. Ray generally only gets excited over video games and fancy knives so it's rather nice to see him interested in something else. Not that there's anything wrong with video games and fancy knives, Geoff likes both of those things quite a lot himself, it's just these are things Ray buys for himself before anyone else could dream of buying it for him.

"You like that?" Geoff questions as he approaches Ray's side. Ray looks at him curiously, like he's not sure what Geoff is referring to. It's pretty obvious what has caught Ray's attention; a gorgeous gold choker lined with several rows of shiny rubies that wrap completely around and holds a hefty price tag. Those have to be real rubies. Personally, Geoff thinks it would resemble a cut throat too much for his taste but he also doesn't think it matters what he thinks if Ray likes it.

"Not that I'm asking for any reason," Geoff promises quickly. Ray gives him a funny look. He doesn't offer an answer, though, glancing back to the necklace shortly before turning away from the store completely. It's clear he does like it. There's no way that's something Ray would buy for himself. Too much money for something so superfluous.

"Shit, there are more guys than we thought," Michael informs suddenly in their ears. "Change of plans, Geoff!"

"I'm coming to help," Ray assures immediately and he wastes no time running off in the direction of their target. It had been a flimsy plan to begin with. Geoff hangs back, waiting until Ray is out of sight before hurriedly heading into the little jewelry store.

"Geoff!" Gavin squawks loudly into his mic.

"Hold your fucking horses, I'm coming," Geoff says shortly. He grabs an employee somewhat hastily and instructs them to fetch the necklace for him while he pays for it on card, no questions asked. Hell yeah, he's a great boyfriend. Geoff shoves it in his pocket before anyone can even offer to box it up for him and then he's out the door to join his crew.

When he gets home, mostly uninjured and slightly richer than before, Geoff finds a box for it to go in. He buys presents for the rest of his boyfriends damn near constantly, though those are actually less presents and more 'please god here just leave me alone for five seconds'-ents. Ray, however, never seems to want, need, or accept anything. This goes back to the lessons Republica, and life, has instilled in him Geoff knows, but that only makes Geoff want to give him more stuff. Ray needs to know he doesn't have to be completely self sufficient anymore and that Geoff has no alternative reasons for giving things. Ray is still a tad 'uncertain' of them for many reasons but that's something they're trying to fix.

Plus, Geoff likes seeing his boyfriends happy. Which is exactly why he takes his time to wrap the box up nice and make it look pretty. Ray sleeps in a different apartment from them, or more specifically from Ryan, so Geoff plans on giving it to him in the morning. They're all tired after today and sleep is a lot more important tonight regardless of how excited he is to see Ray's face.

The situation doesn't play out like it does in his head. Geoff waits until after they've all eaten and everyone's off doing their own things. Ryan and Jack are taking a count of the money they earned while Gavin and Michael play something loud and violent on the television. Ray is curled up on the couch in the biggest blanket he could find despite it not being even remotely cold.

"Ray," Geoff calls to him and Ray sits up curiously to look at him. He uncovers the little box from where he'd hidden it in a drawer and approaches Ray nonchalantly. When he tries to hand it to Ray, though, Ray looks perplexed. Geoff assures him, "it's a gift. For you."

"I don't want it," Ray answers without hesitation.

"What?" Geoff scoffs back irritably. "What do you mean you don't want it? You don't even know what it is."

"I don't want it, Geoff," Ray repeats shortly. He untangles himself from his blanket and gets to his feet, ignoring Geoff's present all together.

"At least fucking open it," Geoff insists harshly. Ray shakes his head. His intentions of leaving the room to join Jack and Ryan are stopped by Geoff deliberately standing in his way. "What's your fucking problem? It's a fucking present, just take it."

"I don't. Want. It," Ray stresses out sourly as he crosses his arms. Geoff's patience runs thin. Angrily, he opens the box himself and rips the necklace out of it. Throwing the empty container aside, Geoff struggles momentarily to undo the clasp before holding it open and stalking towards Ray.

"Come here," Geoff demands. Ray shakes his head again, backing up cautiously as Geoff approaches on him. "Come here right now, Ray." When he fails to obey, Geoff jumps at him. This isn't quite what he thought would happen. Ray fights him tooth and nail, immediately trying to buck Geoff off of him when they both go tumbling to the ground. Geoff is determined, though, holding the necklace in one hand as he tries his best to get Ray pinned down. He's small but he's squirmy and certainly not a happy camper.

"Get off me, Geoff!" Ray barks angrily, smacking Geoff's hands away every time they so much as come near him. It would be easier bathing a cat.

"I'm trying to do something nice for you! Don't be a asshole!" Geoff shouts back. It's difficult, but he manages to straddle Ray's thighs and stop him from using his legs. That's half the battle won, at least. This only urges Ray to struggle harder, not actually trying to hurt Geoff, but understandably leaving bruises. "Hey! Don't pull the mustache! Would one of you dick heads help me‽"

"No bloody way, Geoff," Gavin assures from the sidelines. He and Michael have stopped what they were doing to watch but wisely know not to get between Ray and Geoff especially over something so ridiculous.

"Yeah, I'll help," Michael agrees. "What do you want your tombstone to read?"

"Geoff! Geoff! Fuck off!" Ray yells and he braces his hands on the floor in a way Geoff knows too well by now. When Ray tries to pivot their weight, he swiftly lifts himself up and uses Ray's lowered guard to flip him onto his belly. Ray swings his head back hard and Geoff nearly gets his nose broken for his efforts.

"Fucking stop!" Geoff snaps. This is what he gets for trying to be a good boyfriend! "Are you writing this down, Michael? I want my grave to read 'I'm surrounded by dicks! Literally and metaphorically!'"

"What's going on?" Jack questions tiredly as he wanders out from the study with Ryan on his heels. They were likely disturbed by all the noise. Geoff pushes Ray's face against the wood floors hard with one hand and tries to get a grip on one of his arms with the other. Ray isn't making this easy, his unnatural flexibility making it very difficult to get him pinned down effectively. Not to mention the surprise limbs that hit Geoff out of no where.

"Geoff's trying to do something nice for Ray," Michael explains. Ryan arches a brow.

"I see. What exactly is he trying to do besides get his shit pushed in?" Ryan inquires. Geoff may look like he's winning but that is never something that lasts long. Ray's just waiting for a good opportunity to knock his lights out, probably.

"I'm trying to give him a fucking present but he's being a massive fucking asshole, _Ray_!" Geoff says loudly as one of Ray's hands hits him hard in the ear and immediately sets a ringing in his head. With an annoyed growl in his throat, he manages to get one of Ray's arms pinned under his knee and at that point, it's slightly easier to do the same to the other.

"Uh, Geoff," Ryan murmurs. "You should probably get off of Ray like right now." Knowing this isn't going to work out in his favour, Geoff hurriedly unballs the necklace from his fist and yanks it around Ray's throat. He manages to get it clasped together before Ray's legs, which Geoff had to free up in order to pin down his arms, wrap around his neck.

Honestly, Ray being as flexible as he is, is incredibly unfair. Geoff quickly makes the decision to follow Ryan's advice but it's a little late. With a hard yank of his hips, Ray jerks Geoff to the ground and immediately climbs onto his back to twist Geoff's arm against its socket. Unlike Ray, Geoff's arm is not supposed to bend that way. Geoff has no interest in keeping up this fight anymore, however, and he doesn't struggle. This leaves both of them to catch their breath in quiet pants and gasps as they settle down.

Slowly, Ray lets his arm go and only when he's sure Geoff is done does he get to his feet. He scoffs loudly in irritation and Geoff carefully picks himself up to sit back on his hands. Ray heads for the front door immediately and quietly, Geoff watches from the floor. The mirror beside the door, posted above the little entryway table, causes Ray to sort of pause for a moment and examine the new, shiny gift Geoff has forced upon him.

Geoff was right- it does look eerily like Ray's throat has been cut. However, Ray seems to be mesmerised by his own reflection and touches the necklace gingerly with his fingertips before looking back at Geoff questioningly. Suspiciously may be a better word, actually.

"I fucking told you to just open it," Geoff assures pointedly. "You do look great in it, though, baby."

"You're a fucking asshole, Geoff," Ray answers. Even so, he turns back to the mirror and touches the jeweled piece with both hands softly and pompously. He puffs his chest up a bit and lets out a pleased huff before snapping himself out of it with a shake of the head. Obviously not wanting to let Geoff think he likes it too much, Ray scoffs sharply and sourly says, "I'm going to go play Skate," before exiting the apartment.

"That was-" Jack begins and pauses to consider his words.

"Unnecessary?" Ryan offers.

"Fucking dumb?" Michael adds in.

"Absolutely mental," Gavin agrees.

"Definitely worth it," Geoff assures with a smug grin.

Ray doesn't take the necklace off for three days and after that, Geoff still catches him wearing it every so often. Geoff claims he's never going to buy anything for Ray again and then immediately buys Ray four hoodies the following week with Ryan's help anyways. 


	9. Ray's First High Around Ryan

For living so close together, it's been a few days since Ryan's seen Ray. This is a bit bothersome for several reasons. Ryan knows for a fact that Ray hasn't taken a job without him so he has to be hulled up in his room. They generally have meals at the same times as well, but Ryan hasn't seen him in the cafe, either. Does Ray even keep food in his apartment? They still have another two days before their mission start, but he decides to check on his partner anyways. It wouldn't do either of them any good if Ray is tired and weak when they left for the mainland. Ray only lives a couple rooms down from him so it's a short walk over.

He taps the screen embedded in the door and it registers his touch before giving him the option to knock or leave a message. Ryan can't imagine Ray isn't home right now so he knocks. The selection greys out so he can't knock again and Ryan can only wait for some kind of response. The walls around here are so thick, it's impossible to hear much of anything through them.

Hopefully Ray wasn't sleeping. It wouldn't be the first time he's forgotten to turn change his door to do not disturb. After a few moments though, the door cracks open and Ray's tired face appears from out of the dark room.

"Ryan?" he murmurs lazily, rubbing a hand through his hair and peering back into his room for a second. "What's up, man? Our job isn't for another couple days."

"Did I wake you?" Ryan asks with a small frown. Ray blinks at him a bit.

"No," he finally says. "No, no. I was- I was playing video games." That definitely explains why Ryan hasn't seen him. Ray can get really wound up in those things.

"Are you okay?" Ryan questions. Ray nods a bit lazily and looks over his shoulder again before focusing back on Ryan.

"D'ya want to come in or something?" Ray offers. It's now that Ryan can smell the sickly smoke trailing out from Ray's room. He knows Ray doesn't have the desire or health to do hard drugs, but it's always been pretty obvious that he likes marijuana on occasion. Ray plays it off as a joke most of the time but clearly it's not.

"Oh," Ryan replies because he needs more time to think. It seems odd that Ray would offer him in right now. The last thing someone like Ray would want is someone like Ryan in his private space while he's high. They're partners, sure, but they're still fairly new partners. "I don't really smoke, Ray."

"Seriously?" Ray laughs a little. "But you'll fuck yourself up on MK?" Ryan doesn't think that's really the same. Still, he just wants to make sure Ray is aware he's not going to be getting high with him if he comes in. "Are you gonna come in or not? It's fucking freezing out here."

Ryan has no intention of trying to take advantage of his partner so he accepts the offer. Really, he wants to make sure Ray is eating at least and hopefully sleeping. When he steps in, Ray closes the door behind him and automatically locks the series of manual locks. Every door in Republica has them. Ray trudges back over to his living room where it looks like he's made a fucking nest or something. There's a bunch of blankets that he nestles into and empty wrappers and cans from whatever he's been eating- mostly junk food. The table he leans against is full of gaming paraphernalia and other junk Ryan can't even name at the moment.

At least he's been eating and staying hydrated? Ray takes a second to inhale a bit of smoke from his colourful pipe before returning to his game and leaving Ryan to his own devices. Ryan hasn't been in Ray's room a lot. It's not that Ray keeps him out, it's just that neither of them are extraordinarily comfortable with being in one another's personal space yet.

Ray's room reminds him a bit of a college student who's finally moved out of a strict home and is discovering he can do whatever he wants. For all that Ryan knows, this could be true. Ryan checks the fridge and Ray instinctively glances over his shoulder to watch what he's doing.

Sure enough, it's nothing but junk food and energy drinks. This definitely isn't healthy. Ryan closes it up again and Ray gives him a questioning look.

"Is this all you've eaten lately?" Ryan asks. Ray shrugs. "That's not really an answer."

"I dunno, man," Ray grumbles back. "I've been busy. I don't remember." Wow, he's been really wrapped up in his games. Ryan doesn't think this is the first, either. Without even really thinking about it, Ryan starts picking up some of the loose garbage laying around.

"Hey, don't go all mother hen on me, Ryan," Ray insists with some agitation. Ryan gives him a chilled look.

"It's fucking filthy in here, Ray," he points out bluntly. Clearly Ray isn't used to living on his own or picking up after himself. Ryan doesn't mind helping him learn to take care of his personal space if it means he'll take better care of himself in the long run. Ray taking better care of himself means a better partner for Ryan.

"Yeah," Ray agrees. "I'm in the middle of something. You need to chill out. I know how to clean up after myself." Ryan knows when his help isn't wanted. He stops what he's doing and Ray turns back to his game again. Well, Ray is alright at least. If his sitting area is anything to go by, he's been sleeping, too. His bed certainly looks untouched, though. He's such an odd kid.

Ryan comes to sit down beside him, keeping at least an arm's length away. If there's anything Ray splurges on, its his games. Everything else he owns is pretty obviously cheap. Ryan knows he's bringing in a lot of money, they split everything equally, so he assumes it has something to do with how he grew up.

"You wanna join me?" Ray offers, reaching for another controller to pass Ryan. "I've been trying to get this achievement but it's fucking hard. I need a break."

"Perhaps you should take a break by getting some fresh air?" Ryan suggests.

"Nah. We'll be leaving soon. I'll get air then," he answers simply. That's not technically wrong. Ryan's unsure of his partner's lifestyle choices. He's young, though, so it comes with the territory. At least, Ryan guesses. Ray is very different from how Ryan had been at his age.

"Are you going to be okay by then?" Ryan questions as he takes the controller and examines the buttons.

"I'll be fine," Ray snorts. He's never not been fine so Ryan hasn't any reason not to believe him. "Have you ever played this before?"

"I can't say I have," Ryan informs. He's not big on console games.

"You ever played an Xbox before, grandpa?" Ray asks. Ryan shoots him an unamused stare.

"I'm not _that_ old," he assures. He isn't even thirty. Ray is just a lot younger than him. "I do play Xbox on occasion."

"Kinect doesn't count," Ray insists.

"Just smoke your fucking pot, alright?" Ryan scoffs, fiddling with the controls a bit to get a feel for them. He considers himself a decent gamer and looks forward to surprising Ray with his skills.

"I will, thanks," Ray answers simply, reaching for his pipe again. Ryan thinks this is good for them, really. This means that Ray is starting to trust him and if they're going to keep working together, he's going to have to.

"Uh, okay," Ryan murmurs slowly. Ray holds a breath of smoke in his lungs. "What's the jump key?" The laugh Ray chokes out is cloudy and a little raw, smoke scratching the inside of his throat.

"Jesus Christ, Ryan," he says humourously. "There's no jumping in the military."

 

 


	10. Ray's First Undercover Mission

A large reason as to why this is Ray's first undercover job is because he is the least sneakiest person he knows. Though he knows how to be stealthy, often times it's a wasted skill especially considering his accuracy with a sniper rifle. It's easier to rush in and pop off a few headshots than it is to sneak around and assassinate a bunch of lakies. However, they're not actually supposed to be killing anyone here which leaves all of Ray's learned skills completely useless.

Ryan had insisted on taking this undercover work for what he called 'personal reasons' and Ray agreed because he knows Ryan has assisted him in quite a few jobs Ryan probably was less than interested in. Their partnership is hugely based on give and take as any good partnership is. He'll do this for Ryan, then Ryan will do something for him, and so on and so forth until they have nothing left to offer each other. Ray isn't really sure that will happen considering Ryan's excessive uses and needs, but it is a probability he's ready for.

Honestly, Ray is kind of enjoying this so far. Ryan made him dress up nice in a fancy tux and Ray feels particularly pleased with himself. He's never owned anything this nice before nor this well fit. It's like it was made exactly for him and it was. He'll have to find more reasons to wear it now that he owns it. The party itself, though, leaves much to be desired. Since Ray doesn't drink, the food is gross at best, and company has never been his strong suit, there leaves little for him to do.

Ryan confiscated his handhelds for the night and now Ray knows why. This place is dull as hell. Even the people are dull. Dull and terrifying. He doesn't understand the appeal to most of their conversations nor does he find humor in their jokes. A young woman Ray found incredibly attractive started talking to him only to lose his interest instantly upon discussing business. He doesn't even want to attempt talking to any of the pompous men around here.

Instead, Ray makes the wise choice of sticking close to Ryan and tailing his conversations to make it appear as though he's paying attention. He's not, really. Everything is so _boring_. How Ryan can put up with any of it is a miracle.

"And then- and then- ho ho ho, he finds out he's been paying the tax for years!" an older gentleman laughs and the group around him join in. Ray doesn't even understand half of what's being said around here. Ryan laughs though so Ray joins in automatically. On second thought, Ray can see how a nerd like Ryan could deal with all this. "Oh ho ho but enough about me. Yes, yes, you there. You said something about cattle?"

"The import and export of bovine, yes," Ryan agrees with a charming smile. "Not very interesting, I'm afraid."

"Mm hmm, mm hmm and what about you, then?" the man tips his glass towards Ray. It's very clear that he's a guest of Ryan's but beside that, Ray has been mostly silent for the night. What could he really have to say, after all? 'I make more money sucking dick than your company will ever be worth?' For whatever reason, Ray feels Ryan wouldn't deem this comment appropriate.

Ray could easily make up a story for the night like Ryan has but that sounds like a lot of work and more socializing than he really wants. All he needs is something simple to distract them and keep them from asking too many questions.

"Oh," Ray replies like he's surprised anyone would care about him. "Oh, well I'm just, um, Ryan's-"

He is not fumbling his words. He's not confused or disoriented or at a lost. It's an act. It's an act so they'll think him too dumb to bother with. Whether Ryan simply has plans of his own that he hasn't told Ray about or he thinks Ray is buying for time or because he's just an idiot, he gives Ray an unnecessary hand.

As Ray says, "husband."

"Brother," Ryan speaks on top of him. The group they stand with all pause and exchange odd looks with one another for obvious reasons. That was fucking smooth! Ray gives Ryan a dirty look but Ryan is already too busy trying to think of a way to remedy this grave error. His face reads like an hourglass rotating helplessly as he tries to understand exactly what he's done. Not given them away, hopefully.

"His 'brother-husband'?" one of them inquires carefully. Ray grabs Ryan's arm hard, digging his nails through the fabric of his suit to will him to keep his mouth shut. Fucking brothers? Yeah, the tiny Hispanic doting on him all night is his fucking brother!

"Just husband," Ray assures. "Ryan comes from the deep south, you know? Telling people we're together still makes him a little, uh, nervous."

"I'm sorry," Ryan says with a sheepish smile. He takes one of Ray's hands to kiss the back of softly before holding him close. "It's hard to know what people are going to say. Better safe than sorry, right?"

"Oh, well,” a man huffs with some degree of unpleasantness. “No one’s judging you here, son. As long as you’re not one of them, oh, dirty damn democrats.” Ryan bellows out an aristocrat laugh.

“God no,” he assures. “They want me to pay taxes! Ridiculous.” They all laugh and Ray joins in warmly. What a bunch of asshole.

Later, when they’re pickpocketing a bunch of unconscious bodies, Ray shakes his head.

“Brother?” he says loud enough for Ryan to hear him across the room.

“What?” Ryan replies with a scoff as he tries to pull a ring off an older man’s finger. “I thought you were panicking.”

“Me?” Ray answers. “You should have seen yourself. You looked like you couldn’t find your own dick.” To think Ryan’s the one that has done this before. Ryan murmurs something under his breath that Ray can’t hear from across the room and Ray throws a woman’s shoe at him, missing him by barely a half foot.

“I’ll show you where my dick is,” Ryan says louder. Ray throws the other shoe.

“Keep it in your pants, _brother_ ,” he calls back. Ryan shrugs dramatically as he examines the inside of the ring he’s gotten.

“You could have been adopted,” he assures. “It’s believable.”

“Me?” Ray scoffs. “Maybe you were adopted. Like a fucking doberman in a family of chihuahuas.”

“Just keep looking for the stuff,” Ryan insists. “We’re only half done and they’re going to wake up soon.”

“Worse scavenger hunt ever,” Ray sighs loudly but he goes back to searching pockets anyways. He shakes his head. “ _Brothers_.”

“It’s believable!”

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to contribute any ideas for this list, please check out [this post](http://themadkingsendshismilk.tumblr.com/post/99045635194/so-guys-ive-prt-much-decided-that-7nas-sort-of) for more information.


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